Stargazing

I walked outside the other night. The boys were with their dad and it was eerily quiet in house. So I went outside to the backyard. I looked up to gaze at the millions of sparkling stars. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a white flash shot across the sky. It was a shooting star. Quick. Beautiful. Spectacular.
I like those last two words: beautiful and spectacular. Of course, I like beautiful things. I like when the sun just hangs on the edge of the earth, barely peeking over the horizon before it sinks, succumbing to the pressure of nightfall. I love the beauty of flowers, butterflies, and hummingbirds. I love the beauty of a perfect pass for a touchdown on a fall afternoon at Bryant-Denny Stadium. I love the grace and elegance of a waltz to that classic love song “Moon River.”
Spectacular is another word I like. The fireworks at Walt Disney World are easily described as spectacular. Getting the laundry done, the lunches packed, and the house cleaned can also be called spectacular. Hunter doing a flip on a trampoline can be called that. (Terrified is a word that describes my reaction to his flip.) Parker pushing a kitchen chair to the cabinets and then climbing that chair to nose through the cabinets is spectacular--but not in a good way.
The dreaded word to describe that shooting star is quick. In a flash it was there. Then it was gone. Quick is usually a good word for many things. Finishing homework quickly is good. Getting to a destination quickly is also positive. However, quick makes me sad. The children grow too fast, my loved ones get a little too gray, and I find another wrinkle only to prove that time doesn’t just march on. It marches across my face in the process. Yet, it does it so quickly.
As a single parent, I find that these three words have impacted the way I view life now.
Beautiful. Wow. To be called beautiful is quite a lofty and inspiring word. It is reserved for Miss America and rare China vases. Sometimes going through struggles can make a person question his or her worth. Beautiful is not a word most people associate with themselves. However, it is exactly what God calls us. We are “the apple of His eye.” That makes me feel like I should wear gingham check and have braids, not be “beautiful.” Psalms 45:11 states, “The king is wild for you,” and He calls us heirs to his throne. In other words, I’m a princess in His book.
Spectacular. I don’t feel spectacular, especially when those pants don’t fit the way they used to. Or my hair has decided it doesn’t want to be curly anymore. And it doesn’t want to be straight either. Spectacular is not something we do. It is something we are--by becoming closer to Him, we become spectacular. He takes the ordinary and makes it extraordinary.
Quick. Another birthday passes. Another Thanksgiving, another Christmas and suddenly, another year is over. I recently went to my high school reunion and it wasn’t what I accomplished that mattered. The “remember when” kicked in. The “so good to see you” was real. What I had done wasn’t important; it was the relationships that mattered.
Struggles of single parenting can be daunting. Remember a few things. You are beautiful. Everyone is a specifically designed creation fashioned by the One who made those dazzling stars. He formed you in a unique manner unlike anyone else for this specific time and place. The world will not have another person exactly like you. Even if you don’t have what the world considers to be the perfect life, you have the one thing that can bring the greatest joy ever--children. God picked you to be the parent to these specific children--enjoy them. Nothing is more beautiful than the sight of my children’s faces as they smile at me. Nothing makes my heart leap like the sound of my boys’ laughter. Nothing can break my heart like the tears in my sons’ eyes. I, who am sinful and selfish, greatly love my children. How much more does God, the One who is perfect, love me and my children!
You can do spectacular things simply by loving others. Listen to others. Look them in the eyes and engage in getting to know them. You will learn a lot about them, the world, and yourself. So often we focus on ourselves, sometimes trying to reach goals or pursue dreams; at others times, we are simply surviving the day. Yet, it is the relationships with others that will make memories, create support systems, and help survive life’s storms. Being single again means learning to trust others after perhaps your trust has been completely shattered. I have no great insight on how to trust again; however, I do know that God will place people in your life as others leave. He promises to go before you and behind you, covering you with protection. Best of all, He will never forsake or abandon you. He will simply love you forever. (Pretty spectacular!)
Finally, slow down. Stop feeling like you are racing against a clock. To quote my favorite 1980s icon Ferris Buelluer, “life moves pretty fast. Sometimes you have to stop and look around a bit.” I will drive through town and remark about a new business being open and then find out it has been there for months. I am surprised when I see former students who are now married, have children, or are teaching at the school where I taught them. They seem to remain seventeen in my mind. The seasons seem to change more quickly and suddenly I wake up and think I want it all to stop. But it doesn’t. So I make it stop. I turn off the TV. I make the time to do silly things like pillow fights or fan tents with my boys. I visit places where I have never been when the boys are not with me. It still goes by quickly, but I wake up, look around, and see time passing by. And I make myself remember it.
As a single parent, take the time to stop all the chaos and just enjoy the moment. Enjoy the moments with your kids, your friends, and by yourself. Take time to do a little stargazing. It can teach you a lot about single parenting.